My son, this post is for you.

In my short 25 years of existence in this world, no one has had more of an impact on my life than you.  There is absolutley nothing negative about the influence you have had and continue to have on my life.  Because of the unexpectedness and swiftness with which your angelic presence came and left, my life has transformed.  the deep sorrow I have from loosing you can not compare to the immense love I have for you, my love.


Since the moment you graced me with your sweet presence, I have loved you.  I looked forward to hearing you cry, to sleepless nights, to milk stains on my shirts, and baby barf, to exhaustion and frustration, but most of all to you.  Most of all, I looked forward to seeing your sweet face and gazing into your warm innocent eyes as I let myself get overcome by the love I have for you.


Without you here, there is always something missing.  No family moment is complete, because you aren't here.  Despite the saddness of it all, I am grateful for the time I had with you.  I know that you are in heaven watching me with love.  I know that you have a better home than any place on earth could have been.  While you were here, my womb was the only home you knew.  The comfort I hope I gave you does not compare to the vast love that you are basking in now.  The love and wisdom of our Hevanly Father and of our Lord Jesus outshines, outweighs, and completley surpasses everything we could even begin to imagine.


Someday, I will join you.  When that day comes, I will be happy and die smiling because at long last I will see your eyes and hear your voice.  I'll drink in your smile and tickle your tiny feet.  Your sisters and father and any other siblings will know that it is a bittersweet moment, filled with joy because I will be with you.


I may not know God's purpose for taking you so soon, Link, but I know that he is still using you in my life and that your purpose will be continuous throughout my life.  I know that somehow, this broken heart of mine is part of God's plan for me and the rest of our little family.  What he plans to do with this broken soul of mine, I don't know.  I am sure though that it is something great, and that it will have a huge impact on us down here.  Link, I asked God to bring it on.  I told him with absolute faith that I was ready for the burden he is going to give me, because He will help me through it.


God heard my prayer, Link.  Changes are already happening, they are dramatic things that are causing great turmoil and confusion in my soul.  But I have to see them through.  When the chaos levels rise up in a roaring inferno, I turn to God to restore sanity.  This is only the beginning of the lesson I am learning from you, my son.

I have to get to bed.  Can you do a favor and say hello to my friends from the nursing home who have recently joined you up there?  I have a lot of respect for them, and it was a source of true joy to have the privelege of helping them in the sunset of their lives.